Monday, May 07, 2012

heart song

My Grandfather used to beg me to sing. He would tell me "God gave you this gift to share with the world." He was so proud of me and would bring recordings of me with him everywhere to share with others. He even got his dentist to put my recordings on rotation. He was my number one fan. At the time, all of his support felt more like pressure. I always loved to sing, but as life progressed, I was not sure I was willing to endure the criticism that comes along with putting yourself out there. And this singing thing was like opening up my heart and hoping to God that nobody crushed it. I guess I chose flight rather then fight, but there was still that song that wanted to get out. I pushed through fear for many years, performing but not truly letting that song take flight. I helped others with their songs and felt such purpose and satisfaction in seeing their voices set free to sing. My students are my greatest teachers and now my own children are bringing back the joy of singing to my heart. For that is why I love singing. Without the joy, it has no life. I try my best each day to share that joy with my students and my own children and deep down, with myself. And it is working. One song at a time the pressure has faded to a softer tone and I am feeling that heart song coming back to me. Last night I was inspired by two amazing humans who are definitely singing their songs and sharing their gifts with the world. I think we all have many gifts to share and I know that I a sharing many of mine, but there is still one that is scared and needs a little inspiration. Thank you Cynthia Dawn and Bob Sima for honoring your own hearts and inspiring others to do the same.  Life can take us on many journeys and we can spend much of our time just trying to keep up. As a mom, there are so many diapers to change and dishes to wash and boo boos to kiss that it can be hard to remember to sing. But if I can do all those things with a song in my heart, it will carry me and guide me along the way. Life has sure taking me full circle. From that little girl who sang "God Bless America" at the top of her lungs from the top of the giant mud hill in our back yard for all the neighbors to hear and who begged all her friends to sing in the talent shows at school,  to the teenager who went to music school and felt the pressure shut down places in her that she wanted to protect and now slowly seeing that the danger has passed and it is time to come out of hiding. Baby steps. I wish my Grandpa was here now, I would sing him a song. He would always ask for just one more song and listen with his whole being and love in his eyes. Now I know, he recognized something in me that was much more than singing a nice song. He saw my soul enlivened and knew that I must sing.  Just like in Cindy's book "Indigena", I guess we all have those that are here to show us who we are and to remind us of our song. So, today I am sharing a song I recorded some years ago and I hope my Grandpa is listening. I was inspired by Cindy and Bob to reignite the fire on a passion I had tucked away. I hope that you are inspired to do the same.


2 comments:

Kim Corrigan-Oliver said...

WOW!!!! You have a lovely voice, amazing!! Your grandfather was right and I am sure he was listening :)

P.S. I would buy your CD...hint, hint ;)

Priscilla said...

Thanks Kim!