So, I just changed my 3rd poopy diaper of the day and it is only 2 pm. I am glad she is a good eater, but come on! I think I am getting the hang of this blog thing. I guess I will probably start to put a new post on every day. I really would like to focus on Jetta (my daughter) of course and how being a mom has changed my life.
I recently spent the weekend without my daughter and husband. Home alone for the first time in 2 years. I thought I would feel so relaxed and be able to get so much done between naps and vegging out on the couch with a stack of movies, but it turned out that wasn't the case at all. Usually, Jetta wakes me up all night to nurse and then I spend my days running behind her cleaning up her wake. When they were gone, I found my house to be more of a disaster, and my mind to be more tormented. I felt like I did prior to having her, confused and stressed about the meaning of my life. When everything in my life was for my own development and growth I never felt a sense of complete joy. There always seemed to be something missing, something not right. My future seemed unsure and my present seemed less than thrilling. After the weekend, and they returned, I came to realize that I think we as humans are meant to be needed. To live for someone other than ourselves. Jetta gives me a greater responsibility and meaning in life. I have less time to contemplate my future, I am more tired, I have almost no "me time", and yet I seem to be happier, more productive and fulfilled in my life. It is amazing how we are always trying to find that quiet peaceful space in life to bring us happiness, when real happiness seems to be right in the middle of poopy diapers, cartoons, and spaghetti smashed into the carpet.